Danielle Speaks

David Foster Wallace Died!!!

I can't believe it! He was 46 and hung himself. He was a genius grant recipient at the tender age of 35 and his senior thesis was THE BROOM OF THE SYSTEM- one of my favorite books. INFINITE JEST is also amazing although longer winded- people LOVE this book. Anyhow- I am sort of shocked and sad. I was talking to someone today and I said that I thought he was just another case of someone having too much intelligence for one brain to handle and therefore he became depressed- but my friend felt it was the averse- that perhaps the craziness opened the door to genius. Maybe it's both I don't know but DFW's father said that his son suffered painfully for 20 yrs. Whats the worth of being such a big success if you can't ever feel joy? Something to think about and learn from his death I suppose

David Foster Wallace R.I.P 1962- 2008

Dispatches from a growing girl

These are things that frustrate me about life this week:

1. The new Firefox spell checks "wouldn't couldn't and shouldn't" and does not know about conjunctions. Now clearly I see that the computer age is rendering us completely inept regarding the subtleties of grammar.
2. I was all excited about Entourage coming back to my life but I am so intoxicated by TRUE BLOOD that I now clearly see how cheesy the show has become. It started out last week with Vince having sex for the ninth billion time in reverse cowgirl style so that we could see his face some girl's ass and then they had some silly speech where, desperate for affirmation, Eric convinces him to come back to LA so that he won't have to think he ruined his buddy's career. That could lead to a whole diatribe of why that makes no sense since E told them from day one the movie sucked but hey- who's needs to go in to that. But this week - Tony Bennett sang a duet with Leighton Meister from Gossip Girl who correct me if I am wrong is like 12 yrs old and argue with me if you like is so not HOT! They had her dressed up like an old fashion cigarette girl alluding to a Cristina Aguilara's video- REALLY??? Xtina = Leighton???? Yikes. It was so stupid I had to finally admit this show has too many men who are no longer hungry writing for it.  Ari dialog is still sharp as a knife- but that's because only Doug Ellin writes Ari. Quatable quote of the night:  "Loyd whatsa  matter did you snort a little extra fairy dust this morning- go be a man in let him in." 

3. Why oh why am I at the same place I as in 00 and 04? Why am I terrified again? Why are the McCains on People Magazine hoisted in their dynasty pose, ready to cover the white house blood red all over again. Why people why?

4. Why can't the Internet be free? I know this is not that profound- but why do I have to pay the cable company for something that coffee shops give away for free. You don't have to pay for radio- that's bandwidth as well!!!! Internet should be like radio and public networks (which I have to pay cable for because I can't get reception.)  Why is everything commodified. Again not that profound but shouldn't the Internet be the radio? Shouldn't the Internet be the wonderful beautiful information resource that Al Gore said he created?

5. Why can't there be taxis in LA- roving and screeching all over the city like Chicago and NYC and Paris and London and EVERY OTHER G-D DAMN METROPOLIS ON THE PLANET. Seriously- it seems so simple! OK so the metro can't really be that much better because it was built on an old track to save money and therefore does not have the speed capacity or the space to mirror other metros in other cities. The buses are dirty, dangerous and stuck in traffic and no one wants to ride them in their heels and pretty outfits and - lets face it- famous people won't use PT. California has the second highest rate of fatalities due to drunk driving.  This city needs roving taxis more than any place else- Please Mayor Antonio Villaraigossa- make this city work!!! I get that people love their cars- so drive them during the day assholes and put your asses in a cab at night so that I can cross the street without fear.

6. Why oh Why can't the  good people of LA learn to use turning signals. WHY WHY WHY?

7. Why is it that I have already turned into the kind of car person that feels annoyed by the little scratch on the side of my car and am burning to drop money down the hole to fix it just for vanity reasons. I drive a Prius not a BMW- what is up with me?

8. Is anyone else freaked out that Lehman Bros is filing for Bankruptcy? I am not a financial in the know gal but uhm seriously are we all going to die? Merryl Lynch was also taken over due to financial woes. Who is next? Citicorp? The problem is so bad that they stopped talking about Palin's failure to know what the hell the Bush doctrine was to discuss actual financial issues in the campaign debate. Little farmers in Idaho are going to hear about Wall street in their local news.

The Donkey vs the Elephant.

A friend of a friend received one of those joke emails that had a slant towards GOP ideals and she responded with her own prose to retort. I am posting this not only because I think they are both clever ( though I hate to admit) but this little fairy tale really illustrates for me how rationally and strongly the fiscally and morally conservative can be at purporting their agendas. Or maybe a more fair way of putting it is this: I am like all of my friends the angry left. To be honest- most of the people in my world are liberal and believe in a government that helps people and takes initiative to draw attention to societal flaws like racism and sexism and then make public policy that corrects these humanity errors. I care about my wallet- but I believe that the left is more honest and realistic about how to improve my wallet while aiding and abetting general public well being. Maybe I am as ignorant as the archetype of the redneck who I am always poised against on the political spectrum.  It was never a question for me as to whether or not I was blue or red, it was merely for me a decision between the feminist movement and the grass roots movement both ebbing towards a world I want to live in. I tend to vilify Republicans even though there are people whom I love who are card carrying GOP members. I make sure their social beliefs stay in line with mine (Pro-Choice, Pro Immigration aid, Pro ERA...)   and forgive them for their naivety in believing that today's GOP is the same as the days of Roosevelt and Cold War Scares.  But the truth is the middle of this country believes that the world they live is a place where one has to be careful not to be taken advantage of and where they still think you can be anything you want to be despite misfortune. They are deeply afraid of poor children taking money away from their taxes because they believe the parents of those children are just lazy and inept. They oppose Darwin but their attitude towards life is completely Darwinian. The monetarily weak shall not inherit the earth. The oilers will.  The people who want to make government smaller want to in turn place their morals via the government on my life.  They want prayer in school, abortion illegal (even in the case of Rape) , gay marriage illegal, non US citizens evicted and they want to carry on some imperialist manifest destiny code that makes the rest of the globe hate us. We are a country based on reformation and change but we also come from Puritans ( well not me and 90% of who I know because we are the children of foreigners- and those foreigners built the bridges and the skyscrapers and the trains but now that those foreigners are not white they are not allowed to participate in the melting pot) I am angry. Mostly because I am not sure what to do to change ignorance. Its not a matter of opinion, its an ethical debate. But in this little Aesop fable comes the world view of a America and it reminds me of the micro in my microcosm.

In any case- here came this email- that I assume was meant for the right wing voters and my friend's friend replied quite cleverly: (remember- the first part IS NOT MY SENTIMENT- the reply IS!)

THE INITIAL EMAIL: THE LITTLE RED HEN REVISITED:

The little red hen called all of her Democrat neighbors together and said, 'If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?'

'Not I,' said the cow.

'Not I,' said the duck.

'Not I,' said the pig.

'Not I,' said the goose.

'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen, and so she did.  The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain.

'Who will help me reap my wheat?' asked the little red hen.

'Not I,' said the duck...

'Out of my classification,' said the pig.

'I'd lose my seniority,' said the cow.

'I'd lose my unemployment compensation,' said the goose.

'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen, and so she did.

At last it came time to bake the bread.

'Who will help me bake the bread?' asked the little red hen.

'That would be overtime for me,' said the cow.

'I'd lose my welfare benefits,' said the duck.

'I'm a dropout and never learned how,' said the pig.

'If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination,' said the goose.

'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen.

She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see.  They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little red hen said, 'No, I shall eat all five loaves.'

'Excess profits!' cried the cow. (Nancy Pelosi)

'Capitalist leech!' screamed the duck. (Barbara Boxer)

'I demand equal rights!' yelled the goose. (Jesse Jackson)

The pig just grunted in disdain. (Ted Kennedy)

And they all painted 'Unfair!' picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.

Then the farmer (Obama) came. He said to the little red hen, 'You must not be so greedy.'

'But I earned the bread,' said the little red hen.

 'Exactly,' said Barack the farmer. 'That is what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy and idle.'

And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, 'I am grateful, for now I truly understand.'

But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again baked bread because she joined the 'party' and got her bread free. And all the Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been established.

Individual initiative had died, but nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared...so long as there was free bread that 'the rich' were paying for.

EPILOGUE

Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs.

Hillary got $8 million for hers.

That's $20 million for the memories from two people, who for eight years, repeatedly testified, under oath, that they couldn't remember anything.

IS THIS A GREAT BARNYARD OR WHAT?

AMY'S RESPONSE:

There once was a barnyard where the Little Red Hen said, I don't like what they are doing on Old McDonalds farm so I'm going to proactively invade.  Despite the protests of a majority of the barnyard, the Little Red Hen rounded up the other hens and with nary a plan in place, stormed Old McDonald's farm destroying barns, silos, and crops while killing or displacing many animals.  Despite the destruction and chaos, Old McDonald's animals wouldn't just give up the farm without a fight so a long, seemingly endless war ensued.  This entanglement tied up money and resources from Red Hen's community.

While Little Red Hen refused to acknowledge the repercussions of this battle, she was willing to relax regulations and oversight on the rich farmer who controlled food, housing and utilities for all the animals.  The farmer refused to acknowledge his rather shady and potentials destructive business model because he was getting richer and fatter each day.  When markets changed and audits questioned the farmer's books, all hell broke loose.  The animals were kicked off the farm; they were barnless, had lost their livelihood, and lacked provisions.

So the cow brought her calf to school and told the teacher: "Can you provide lunch for my child because I can't afford to feed her on the minimum wage job I was forced to take."

And the pigs went to a shelter and asked "Can we sleep here tonight because our sty was reposed and we have no where to go."

And the duck went to the hospital and asked the doctor "Can you treat me because I am sick but lost my job so have no insurance."

And these animals were told that because of the deficit caused by the ongoing war with Old McDonald and the credit crisis caused by the farmer, that funding had been cut and they would have to go without.

And honest, hard working farmers turned a blind eye to these problems because life on their farm was hard and they didn't have anything to spare.  And the fat, rich farmer wouldn't share any of his ill-begotten gains because he thought of the animals as weak and stupid.  And the farmer; the Little Red Hen; the old, Arizona Cock; and the smirking, Alaska Bulldog all laughed and taunted and told retched lies about anyone who asked if this was right.

And the farmer went to his island in the Caribbean to hide all his profits in off-shore banking accounts and the Little Red Hen retired to her ranch in Texas and the rest of the animals suffered because no one felt it was their responsibility to help out.

Moral-There's more than one side to this story.

Now I am quietly waiting for the catastrophe of my personality to seem beautiful again, and interesting, and modern.

I have just been watching the season 2 premier of mad men online I highly recommend this to everyone. So many smart people adore this show and the NY times writes an article about the show every other week. At first I was really taken back by the lens of overt sexism the show placed on the time period and locale of corporate advertising in New York. It felt pushed on me and yet part of me kinda of knew that this was really a resentment for the fact that this interpretation of the 50s and gender was really spot on and the reason I know this is because I can probably feel its stamp on my life at various times and places. Or perhaps the show just may have needed to percolate a bit more before i could give it a chance. Either way- I LOVE IT!!! I am seduced by the clothing, hte furniture, the historical allusions and mostly DON DRAPER. For all intents and purposes the show's main character is Don Draper. He is an idealist and a tool of the system all at once. He is deeply enigmatic, constantly on the verge of an existential breakdown and deeply repressed. He has a seriously messed up background history which I will not divulge for you. I love this character. He is meaty! He cheats on his wife, but his wife is so very much exactly the kind of woman I hate and I can damn near bet money AMC is counting on most of us to feel the same way. And yet, I don't hate her and I get her allure for him. Meanwhile he is the only man to give curiously strange and lovable Peggy the chance to be the only chic to climb the executive ladder She constantly endures sexism at its height. Don mentors Peggy. He gives her more of a chance and an ear than he gives others.He sips scotch all day and lives in an ivory tower and yet he espouses speeches about art and how the money men are just jealous of the artist because they can do what the money man can't do. He plays hookie in bars and sends Frank O'Hara poetry books to clandestine secret people. ( I am behind on season one so feel free to tell me who it is) I think this character is so ripe for this time period; after 8 yrs of conservatism we are still caught wondering why we might be stuck in GOP hell again and its because of the cultural backwardness of most of this country. MADMEN is today and most of us are Don Draper- we might not be as aware of the decisions we make as he is- but that's because he is fiction - he has the luxury to do so.

I wanna be a Ronson

I just passed by Charlotte Ronson's store today in Soho and the chic can seriously design. Her twin sister turns famous starlets into Lesbians and she is a really good musician. Their half sister is gorgous and was a modeling prodegy and her sister's design muse since age 13 and Mark - well Mark is a 3 time grammy winner, DJ to such social depths that even crusty old Brook Astor was a fan and he is HOTTTT- JAY-Z could not deny that he is sweet and talented. VERSION is so the definition of the album you play out.  I have always had a crush on him and was openly jealous of my buddies who went to Chapin for attending school with his sister and knowing he and the other Collegiate boys.  Now I realize Mark dates girls like the underaged illegitimate offspring of Gavin Rossdale and hot Rashida Jones AKA Quincy's daughter but somewhere in my little brain I think that somehow he is going to marry me- nice Jewish girl from NYC who will work her way up to fame in the film world and will live sleepless nights adoring him as he Deejays.  If you are out there Mark- I am available and seriously open to a Ronson- Beebs connection.  "Beebson?" "Maryelle?"

(SIGH) Good lord look at those lips.

Back from the Dead

"Today's hardship leads to tomorrow's rewards" This is what the fortune says that is attached to the inside of my wallet in front of my browning NYC license.  The fortune cookie's arrival in itself was anomalous as it came at the end of a cheap Thai meal.  The Neon lights were so bright inside that my greasy pad see yu had a sort of blue hue to it.. It was midnight and I was still at work (three days into a new job) We decided to take a break and "go out for dinner" I hardly knew this person and here I was 15 hours later.  I was in the middle of Van Nuys, porn capital of California and easily a dead ringer for any run down third world capital city.  I had been in these situations before, new crazy job, ladder climbing possibilities inhumane film industry hours and a strange eruptive intimacy with strangers from cramped and long hours. Yet this seemed different, I was actually taking knowledge in. I am learning. John, one of two Johns who make a couple who showed me an apartment in December called me 7 months later and hired me to take over for him while he was away on vacation.  While trying to implement a new system and dealing with innumerable foibles I learned how to be an assistant editor on a feature film. It seems so late in the game, I know, but here it was, stuff I had never learned before. I had never been in the post department of a feature fiction film and now here I was about to BE the entire post department after a mere three days training. And I did it, with a few private meltdowns but i managed to run all of the post ( which I have learned it what the assistant does so that the creative artist=editor can just do his thing)  It was a 3 to 4 camera HD 3 week shoot. Every day at least 15 tapes of footage arrived with seperate sound and volumes of errors made on the field which made my life challenging every day. But again I learned. And because I was the only one watching all the footage, people would ask my opinion about the film. This was rare opportunity to build relationships with hire up people in a position that on a huge budget film would be a less personable and more robot.  And so that hardship is leading to reward.

I see that fortune every time I open my wallet,  even more, it strikes me as I pay for the emblems of my move: gas, parking, valet...etc.  If strikes me.  If my hope had a song this fortune would be the bridge and sometimes I have to search really hard to find the tune like when new people flee as quickly as they came in to my life and sometimes its singing loudly in my ear like when new people stick around and hold me up with an iron arm.  My task was a simple one. Grow up and write.   I came here, and every thing fell apart and I stopped writing. Even writing this simple blog entry seems hard- so weighted with the challenge of re-entering a dream I had so long ago.  But I am proud to report that I shall be coming upon my 9th month in LA and my 33rd year in life and I have survived.

I live in LA. I don't even say I just moved here. I live here. I work here. I have a title, I am assistant editor and a writer. I have treatments due to producers who have heard pitches and have commended me for a job well done.  Every one has two faces in this town but I am beginning to recognize the ones I like.  I don't earn much but I am on my way and now that I have someone waiting on a treatment and a meeting with them upon a return from my visit home I feel as if I am on my way.   I was receding a little deeply into the bell jar when I think some form of human resistance called out from inward and made a little fortune appear.  And so a new job came with a path to keep on.  A new apartment came and a friend in need appeared at my door all at once and together: me, jo and my new place healed.

So thats my update for now. This is for Elbee- who just pushed me to keep on my blog. Actually this is for Elbee, TV, Humdrum and Tuck- the only 4 people who are probably reading this so its cool.

I am home for a wedding that will have some of Williamsburg's greatest hits for me there. I am excited to see so many people I have loved for so long in a place i hold dear this weekend. Its good to be with my folks too.  Their pride and love is unconditional and sometimes that can feel heavy when I am not feeling worthy of such a gift but I am learning not to think so much. In  the immortal words of Po the Kung Fu Panda's noodle shop dad: " there is no secret ingredient, the soup tastes special because I believe its special"

ON a side note, I watched the second Narnia film on the plane today.  If you read the CS Lewis books when you were little you will so enjoy this second one. It's entirely less wrought with biblical imagery and hidden messages and the Prince Caspian story is a great one. Plus the mythical human enemies of the Narnians are called Telmarines but they are really all just Spaniards and they are HOT!!!!!!!  I really enjoyed this.  The story feels a little bit too much like the Lord of the Rings trilogy here and there but since i am not sure who came first Lewis or Tolkian I can't really comment on that. But again- see the film- it will remind you of the third grade happily. And then go read a Beverly Cleary book.

-signed
awake again

The Cake Sale

I am so excited for this.

Tuck beat me to it but!

I NEED TO SEE IRON MAN AS WELL! Who's coming?

And not just because of the hotness but because I root for Jon Favreau, Jeff Bridges and Terrence Howard as well!  And... because of the hotness!

I love you JS

I'm going home for my first visit

AND...not a minute too soon! Today I was looking at all my NYC keys that I keep in a drawer- I could not remember how to use my old apartment keys or which key was the one to my folk's house. I'm truly tapped. I'm hoping that this week will refuel me and that I will have the strength to return ( I have to but my friends here keep jokingly asking me if I shall return) I'm wondering how i shall deal with the "How's LA" question when i see my entire family for passover.  Honestly- it's *&^%$ but it is my home now so...

Anyway- I'm feeling a bit bared by my overwhelming internet presence.  Nothing much to report anyways - just chuggin along.

Proclivities

The power of habit

You may know me.

I’m your constant business companion.

I’m your greatest helper; I’m your heaviest burden.

I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.

I am at your command.

Half the tasks you do might as well be turned over to me.

I’m able to do them quickly, and I’m able to do them the same way every time if that’s what you want.

I’m easily managed, all you’ve got to do is be firm with me.

Show me exactly how you want it done; after a few lessons I’ll do it automatically.

I am the servant of all great men and women; of course, servant of the failures as well.

I’ve made all the great individuals who have ever been great.

And I have made all the failures as well.

But I work with all the precision of a marvelous computer with the intelligence of a human being.

You may run me for business profit, or you may run me to ruin; it makes no difference to me.

Take me. Be easy with me and I will destroy your business.

Be firm with me and I’ll put the world at your feet.

Who am I? I’m Habit!!

This is Funny!

Embracing the inner freak in the schoolyard.

Moving log: 6 weeks in the golden state. Grade for move so far is still a 5. Why? Because the endless array of calamaty continues but I can still approach/attack it with humour and strength and therefore can still see that it is indeed all worth something. As my days grow more habitual I begin to see the deeper meaning  behind it all here and deal with the fact that I just don't really know myself as well as I thought. This comes out when I realize that I am becoming increasingly uncomfortable with being the new person.  As I talk to folks I am learning that I am not everyman's Danielle. Instead I am an aqquired taste. I use to think i could get along with anyone and that I could make friends anywhere. I patted myself on the back for being easy going, mutable almost to a fault. But as my universal trust in others gives way to a more strained and exhausting social training course I realize that I need to develop even more acumen in these departments. I can not rest on my laurels if all my success as a social being was all too close to the nest.  Last night I met some prospective contacts and friends and I felt crippled by being the annoying desperate new friend. I am obsessed with not being that person. I don't know how to read what LA peeps want. Everyone wants a piece of everyone here. Everyone represents some small step upwards in their ascendency to the hierarchy. Because of this even the most genuine people have to tread carefully not to burn a bridge or lose a connection. So you are both predator and prey at all given moments.  I suppose one could embrace the game or challenge- after all I came out here to learn and succeed and if these are the rules then so  be it. But I don't like not being able to read people.   I experienced this shift in my inner plate techtonics when I lost weight. After going from a morbitly obese person to a "thin" person i had to reassign what things meant. People not only treated me differently, but I was not so quick any more to assume the worst. I had a watered down understanding of other people's shallow assessments. On the one hand I could be angry that my changing of my outer shell somehow made it ok to be given positive attention, but didn't I just work hard for a year and a half to become this person- didn't I on some level now respect myself now more for being thin? I was now the prey and preditor of my own self image.   If it makes any of you feel better- I don't have any more friends or receive any more positive feedback on myself now that I am thin. I just get hit on more and am treated like a normal person as a opposed to a person with a problem-  I'm pittied less.  Somehow I think the topic of being the crazy new girl needing help in LA is related to being the crazy new thin person in NYC.  Both times were equally trying but in different ways. Perhaps I am more prepared for this because of the prior experience. Perhaps I will always know that nothing is ever as it seems because of the prior experience and in someways know that for every cocky congradulatory veneer I come across here- that it is just a suit of armor to protect themselves from the preditory nature of schmoozing. Writers especially. I don't know.  Certainly its a joyous anthropological adventure worth  having. The fact that even in the worst moments i can think that tells me that this is still a 5 but not a 3- and that is good!

Uhm watch Robert Downey Jr!!!!

I've been cheating.

• I've been posting other people's words instead of writing my own blog entries
• I've been reading friends' blogs insead of calling
• I've been watching TV instead of writing

But thats the way life goes I guess.  This week I have had another buddy in town for a long time. I've hung out with him more this week then I have in 4 yrs.  He just told me last night that he is moving here May 1st. I literallly almost cried from joy- another New Yorker and a close friend who gets me at that. I think I hugged the life out of him- which he gladly excepted. Thats another thing out here- people don't touch eachother. I have to control my touching.

In other good news, I have been working.  It ranges from canvasing neighborhoods with flyers, cards and movie passes to promote the one week that this film will be playing at the Laemle Music Hall: http://www.dyingtolivethemovie.com/ to doing more associate producing things in the office. I really don't mind the canvasing as i have been basically driving and walking around this entire city- its really teaching me about the life of each neighborhood. Yesterday morning I was covering the Pico/Robertson neighborhood- its extremely Jewish. It was a fortunate act of kismit as it was Purim and I had forgotten. Every store I walked into i was offered a happy Purim and a spin of the grog.  I had so many Hamantaschen that I was on a sugar high.  In some ways it felt good to walk around and have that part of me be automatically recognized and warmly greeted. My mom always say, " you know your own people."  With Jews this is particularly fascinating; there is no one look or personality -although others might disagree. However, elder yids always know me from a mile away...funny.   The film maker i am working for is actually profoundly religious and went off to the synagogue to hear them read from the Midrash I am sure there was a small child's costume parade as well although i hear the Esther and Hayman garbs are being replaced by Sponge Bob and Square Pants- OY. In any case I felt strange because i was almost jealous- I wanted to go.

I found myself wondering inwardly and pleasantly about where I belong.  I've been obsessed with personal history and roots and yet virolently opposed to being typecast or aligned to just one group.  I find solice out here in the few small groups I can align myself with:  Jews, Columbia Alums, Yogis, Ex-NYers... this is cheating- thats the thing about moving- nothing is organic, everything is an effort to open up and create more vast network for you to fall upon- it is forced cnnectivity.

And then there's Hillary's even worse affiliations! (YIKES)

(NOTE: I have no idea how true the facts are for either of these two articles but its interestiing to me that one must affiliate with contagious thought to be in power in this country)

Hillary's Nasty Pastorate
By Barbara Ehrenreich- for the Huffington Post

There's a reason why Hillary Clinton has remained relatively silent during the flap over intemperate remarks by Barack Obama's former pastor, Jeremiah Wright. When it comes to unsavory religious affiliations, she's a lot more vulnerable than Obama.

You can find all about it in a widely under-read article in the September 2007 issue of Mother Jones, in which Kathryn Joyce and Jeff Sharlet reported that "through all of her years in Washington, Clinton has been an active participant in conservative Bible study and prayer circles that are part of a secretive Capitol Hill group known as the "Fellowship," aka The Family. But it won't be a secret much longer. Jeff Sharlet's shocking exposé, The Family: The Secret Fundamentalism at the Heart of American Power will be published in May.

Sean Hannity has called Obama's church a "cult," but that term applies far more aptly to Clinton's "Family," which is organized into "cells" -- their term -- and operates sex-segregated group homes for young people in northern Virginia.  In 2002, writer Jeff Sharlet joined the Family's home for young men, foreswearing sex, drugs, and alcohol, and participating in endless discussions of Jesus and power. He wasn't undercover; he used his own name and admitted to being a writer. But he wasn't completely out of danger either. When he went outdoors one night to make a cell phone call, he was followed. He still gets calls from Family associates asking him to meet them in diners -- alone.

The Family's most visible activity is its blandly innocuous National Prayer Breakfast, held every February in Washington. But almost all its real work goes on behind the scenes -- knitting together international networks of rightwing leaders, most of them ostensibly Christian. In the 1940s, The Family  reached out to former and not-so-former Nazis, and its fascination with that exemplary leader, Adolph Hitler, has continued, along with ties to a whole bestiary of murderous thugs. As Sharlet reported in Harper's in 2003:

During the 1960s the Family forged relationships between the U.S. government and some of the most anti-Communist (and dictatorial) elements within Africa's postcolonial leadership. The Brazilian dictator General Costa e Silva, with Family support, was overseeing regular fellowship groups for Latin American leaders, while, in Indonesia, General Suharto (whose tally of several hundred thousand "Communists" killed marks him as one of the century's most murderous dictators) was presiding over a group of fifty Indonesian legislators. During the Reagan Administration the Family helped build friendships between the U.S. government and men such as Salvadoran general Carlos Eugenios Vides Casanova, convicted by a Florida jury of the torture of thousands, and Honduran general Gustavo Alvarez Martinez, himself an evangelical minister, who was linked to both the CIA and death squads before his own demise.

At the heart of the Family's American branch is a collection of powerful rightwing politicos, who include, or have included, Sam Brownback, Ed Meese, John Ashcroft, James Inhofe, and Rick Santorum. They get to use the Family's spacious estate on the Potomac, the Cedars, which is maintained by young men in Family group homes and where meals are served by the Family's young women's group. And, at the Family's frequent prayer gatherings, they get powerful jolts of spiritual refreshment, tailored to the already-powerful.

Clinton fell in with the Family in 1993, when she joined a Bible study group composed of wives of conservative leaders like Jack Kemp and James Baker. When she ascended to the senate, she was promoted to what Sharlet calls the Family's "most elite cell," the weekly Senate Prayer Breakfast, which included, until his downfall, Virginia's notoriously racist Senator George Allen. This has not been a casual connection for Clinton. She has written of Doug Coe, the Family's publicity-averse leader, that he is "a unique presence in Washington: a genuinely loving spiritual mentor and guide to anyone, regardless of party or faith, who wants to deepen his or her relationship with God."

Furthermore, the Family takes credit for some of Clinton's rightward legislative tendencies, including her support for a law guaranteeing "religious freedom" in the workplace, such as for pharmacists who refuse to fill birth control prescriptions and police officers who refuse to guard abortion clinics.

What drew Clinton into the sinister heart of the international right? Maybe it was just a phase in her tormented search for identity, marked by ever-changing hairstyles and names: Hillary Rodham, Mrs. Bill Clinton, Hillary Rodham Clinton, and now Hillary Clinton. She reached out to many potential spiritual mentors during her White House days, including new age guru Marianne Williamson and the liberal Rabbi Michael Lerner. But it was the Family association that stuck.

Sharlet generously attributes Clinton's involvement to the underappreciated depth of her religiosity, but he himself struggles to define the Family's theological underpinnings. The Family avoids the word Christian but worship Jesus, though not the Jesus who promised the earth to the "meek." They believe that, in mass societies, it's only the elites who matter, the political leaders who can build God's "dominion" on earth. Insofar as the Family has a consistent philosophy, it's all about power -- cultivating it, building it, and networking it together into ever-stronger units, or "cells." "We work with power where we can," Doug Coe has said, and "build new power where we can't."

Obama has given a beautiful speech on race and his affiliation with the Trinity Unity Church of Christ. Now it's up to Clinton to explain -- or, better yet, renounce -- her longstanding connection with the fascist-leaning Family.

Obama's Farrakhan Test

By Richard Cohen for the Washington Post.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008; A13

Barack Obama is a member of Chicago's Trinity United Church of Christ. Its minister, and Obama's spiritual adviser, is the Rev. Jeremiah A. Wright Jr. In 1982, the church launched Trumpet Newsmagazine; Wright's daughters serve as publisher and executive editor. Every year, the magazine makes awards in various categories. Last year, it gave the Dr. Jeremiah A. Wright Jr. Trumpeter Award to a man it said "truly epitomized greatness." That man is Louis Farrakhan.

Maybe for Wright and some others, Farrakhan "epitomized greatness." For most Americans, though, Farrakhan epitomizes racism, particularly in the form of anti-Semitism. Over the years, he has compiled an awesome record of offensive statements, even denigrating the Holocaust by falsely attributing it to Jewish cooperation with Hitler -- "They helped him get the Third Reich on the road." His history is a rancid stew of lies.

It's important to state right off that nothing in Obama's record suggests he harbors anti-Semitic views or agrees with Wright when it comes to Farrakhan. Instead, as Obama's top campaign aide, David Axelrod, points out, Obama often has said that he and his minister sometimes disagree. Farrakhan, Axelrod told me, is one of those instances.

Fine. But where I differ with Axelrod and, I assume, Obama is that praise for an anti-Semitic demagogue is not a minor difference or an intrachurch issue. The Obama camp takes the view that its candidate, now that he has been told about the award, is under no obligation to speak out on the Farrakhan matter. It was not Obama's church that made the award but a magazine. This is a distinction without much of a difference. And given who the parishioner is, the obligation to speak out is all the greater. He could be the next American president. Where is his sense of outrage?

Any praise of Farrakhan heightens the prestige of the leader of the Nation of Islam. For good reasons and bad, he is already admired in portions of the black community, sometimes for his efforts to rehabilitate criminals. His anti-Semitism is either not considered relevant or is shared, particularly his false insistence that Jews have played an inordinate role in victimizing African Americans.

In this, Farrakhan stands history on its head. It was Jews who disproportionately marched for civil rights and, in Mississippi, died for that cause. Farrakhan and, in effect, Wright, despoil the graves of Michael Schwerner, Andrew Goodman and, of course, their black colleague James Chaney.

I can even see how someone, maybe even Obama, could dismiss Farrakhan as a pest, a silly man pushing a silly cause that poses no real threat to the Jewish community. Still, history tells us that anti-Semitism is not to be trifled with. It is a botulism of the mind.

The Obama and Clinton campaigns are involved in a tasteless tussle over the legacy of Martin Luther King Jr. What is clear from rereading King's celebrated "I Have a Dream" speech of Aug. 28, 1963, is how inclusive that dream was -- "all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, 'Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!' "

This, though, is not Farrakhan's dream. He has vilified whites and singled out Jews to blame for crimes large and small, either committed by others as well or not at all. (A dominant role in the slave trade, for instance.) He has talked of Jewish conspiracies to set a media line for the whole nation. He has reviled Jews in a manner that brings Hitler to mind.

And yet Wright heaped praise on Farrakhan. According to Trumpet, he applauded his "depth of analysis when it comes to the racial ills of this nation." He praised "his integrity and honesty." He called him "an unforgettable force, a catalyst for change and a religious leader who is sincere about his faith and his purpose." These are the words of a man who prayed with Obama just before the Illinois senator announced his run for the presidency. Will he pray with him just before his inaugural?

I don't for a moment think that Obama shares Wright's views on Farrakhan. But the rap on Obama is that he is a fog of a man. We know little about him, and, for all my admiration of him, I wonder about his mettle. The New York Times recently reported on Obama's penchant while serving in the Illinois legislature for merely voting "present" when faced with some tough issues. Farrakhan, in a strictly political sense, may be a tough issue for him. This time, though, "present" will not do.

( I look forward to your opinions- beebs)

Ways of The Wayword

By Maureen Dowd (nytimes)     

Just when I thought my head would explode from trying to figure out delegate math, I’m hit with call-girl math.

The arithmetic of procuring a prostitute who is both experienced and inspirational is even more complicated than the arithmetic of procuring a president who is both experienced and inspirational.

If you’re a frugal governor who doesn’t even like paying his political consultant bills, as opposed to an Arab sheik or a Vegas high roller, do you really need to shell out $4,300, plus minibar expenses, to a shell company for two hours with a shady lady? Aren’t there cheaper hooker hook-ups on Craigslist? It makes you wonder how sharp Eliot Spitzer’s pencil was on the state’s fiscal discipline.

And how does it add up that Steamroller No. 1 suddenly morphs into Client No. 9, a nom d’amour with the ring of an overpriced Gucci cologne for men, giving untold thousands for untold years to a prostitution ring that has hourly rates based on rating its girls on a diamond scale of 1 to 7, with 7 being $3,100, and above 7 in a special club for $5,500 and up?

(A friend of mine who knows the ways of the wayward, explained that the flesh-peddlers no doubt had a shell game as well as a shell company: “They say, ‘You can have Jane. She’s $1,000 an hour. Or, you can have Tiffany for $5,000 an hour.’ The client doesn’t know that Jane and Tiffany are the same girl. It’s not like clients are going to compare notes. ‘I paid $5,000 for Kristen. You only paid 1,000 for Chrissy?’ ”).

If blood will have blood, as Shakespeare said in “Macbeth,” power will have sex.

Some people took the saga of Eliot Ness in the boudoir, the old yarn of holier-than-thou caught in flagrante delicto, as a sign that a woman should be president.

“I would think the story about our esteemed governor is all the proof we need that we should have a woman as president,” a woman I know said in an e-mail message.

Another woman e-mailed the reverse to a friend: “I hope this makes people think back to Monica Lewinsky. Can sex scandals be well timed?”

In modern times, you rarely see any men having to stand ashenly by their women.

But in the past, women got tangled up with sex and power. When Bette Davis played Elizabeth I, she was always sending her lovers off to the Tower of London when they made eyes at her pretty ladies-in-waiting. Catherine the Great was hardly known for her restraint. And there were Agrippina and Cleopatra, of course.

Hillary could not have been pleased to be in all the TV stand-by-your-man features, or to hear David Letterman’s Spitzer Top Ten list which included, “I thought Bill Clinton legalized this years ago.”

Lyndon Johnson once observed that the two things that make politicians more stupid than anything else are sex and envy.

Even as Governor Spitzer struggled with the sex story on Tuesday, the Clinton campaign struggled with the envy story.

Geraldine Ferraro, who helped Walter Mondale lose 49 states in 1984, was clearly stung at what she considered Obama’s easy rise to celebrity and electoral success. Last Friday, Ms. Ferraro, who is on Hillary’s national finance committee, told The Daily Breeze, a small newspaper in Torrance, Calif.: “If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman (of any color), he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept.”

Obama acknowledged when he arrived in the Senate that he got more attention, his big book deal and his celebrity, because he is not white. He was only the third black senator elected since Reconstruction.

But as he campaigned here Tuesday, he was outraged at Ferraro’s comments. “They are divisive,” he said. “I think anybody who understands the history of this country knows they are patently absurd.”

Obama’s campaign strategist, David Axelrod, said that Ferraro should be removed from her campaign post, and that made her even more irritated. She told The Times on Tuesday night that she was “livid,” adding: “Anytime you say anything to anybody about the Obama campaign, it immediately becomes a racist attack.”

When Ferraro felt patronized by Mondale’s staff, she suggested that his aides “should pretend every time they talk to me or even look at me that I’m a gray-haired Southern gentleman, a senator from Texas.”

Hillary would never have to pretend to be a man to get aides to respect her, proving that she has moved past gender in a way Ferraro never did.

My Love Horoscope:

Attractive Venus entering your 7th House of Partnership this week is a positive signal for love. Drop any ideas about commitment or practicality, though, since pure romance requires faith not facts. Of course, your relationship future counts, but this is a time when the present offers a precious gift.

BRING ON THE ROMANTIC FLING!